Silver Age Beyond

Whedon Tribute?
Character Points = 86

Bulldog Bulletin
-Justin Kase
-Editor: Felicia Fox

Drugs Be Bad Do
Published by an anonymous concerned citizen. This delightfully scary thirty frame presentation outlines all the dangers and effects of heroine on human physiology. If you haven’t seen it, we highly suggest adding it to your watch list. The creative mind behind this travesty of Truth Gone Wild should be given an award for meaningful contribution educating the masses.

Sanctuary Spookified
The Halloween party thumped hard on Saturday with a smattering of local bands including local teen favorite Metro Sexual, so named in reference to risky behavior on public transit. The dance floor was hot, the soda didn’t have time to run flat, and the covers were ironed with precision. Newcomer to the scene, a macrophage by the name of Koosh, had everyone on the floor entranced with his one man light show. Pretty much everyone came in costume, but who could have guessed that those costumes would take over their mind. The witches were up to their old tricks and the party got a little out of hand for awhile. Thankfully, everyone and everything came out the other side relatively unscathed.

Night of the Living Dead
In a completely unprecedented catastrophe, actual zombies have attacked the city of Seattle. Spectrum is doing the best they can to mitigate the damage, but there are a lot of lives being lost as the dead rise. Hopefully when the sorcery clears, we can pick ourselves back up without craving the flesh of the living.
Editor’s Note: That was completely shameless, so please check your verbage.

The nomination for the night goes to Nicole and He Who Schiffles. Such Schiffling, much Nicole.

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Finals Week Begins
Character Points = 85

Bulldog Bulletin
-Justin Kase
-Editor: Felicia Fox

Art History
Due to the heroic efforts of a few intrepid students, Mr Troiles has magnanimously decided to allow his students a fun final. Each student gets to present their formal essays to the class in open discussion. Their final grade will be based on participation and oral competency.

Latin
The regular teacher for Latin has made a recovery, but it is sleeping off the recovery effects until further notice. The substitute teacher, Mr Glykyria, while definitely NOT a terribly devious alien supremacist from a fascist imperial regime, has turned out to be not as well received as Mr Abernathy, which is saying something nonetheless. Thankfully, most of the Latin students have made it out alive.

Nominations tonight go out to three crazy people: Chris, Justin, and Zac. Well done!

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Winter is Coming.
Character Points = 85

Bulldog Bulletin
-Justin Kase
-Editor: Felicia Fox

Winter Quarter
The new quarter’s schedule is out for everyone to look at and make their choices. Garfield faculty is preparing for a great season with lots of information packed material for you to jam into your skull. There are winter sports, high tech gadgets fit for the holidays, and plenty of literature to get you through the long cold nights. Get ready to put your academically appropriate stockings on and good luck to everyone during Finals week.

Cures for the Afflicted
The hospital and the CDC are all aflutter with the excitement of a cure for the recent alien disease that has swept across a small population of the city. The cure was presented by an undisclosed member of the alien community and is ready for distribution. Months or maybe even years of research has been circumvented here, saving the lives of possibly hundreds. Thank you mystery man.

The nomination for the night goes to Buttons for Arthurian tragedies.

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A Long Night
Character Points = 85

Bulldog Bulletin
-Justin Kase
-Editor: Felicia Fox

Exploring the Present:
Question of the Day – If you had a secret government base all to yourself, what would you put into it? I personally would go for a sound and bullet proof prison facility to store all the bullies and people with no courtesy toward their fellow man. There would be a huge garage for all my super powered tank-sports-speeder cars. I would also put in about a half dozen networked super computers that had the best in gaming and firewall technology, so that I could game religiously with my compatriots in arms. What I would not do is let any weirdos in who might leave security problems in their wake. Like USB spider minions or tazer grenades that knock out my guards.

Uber Mistake:
Today I took a trip to the mall and transported via one of the great new taxi style services that our smart phones have given us access to. My driver was a nice man with a really good attitude that was patient with me and got me to my destination without much stalling or misdirection. The messed up thing with this trip though, was that he looked just like my cousin who lives in Olympia. So much like him that I started an argument with him about having a secret identity… did I mention that I had taken some strong cold medicine just befor this trip?…No matter how much I accused, he insisted that his name was actually Steve and not Kyle, but he didn’t kick me out of the car. I totally could have been kicked out of the car, and then I would have been stuck in the middle of downtown with a cold, and it would have been awful. Moral of the story: Trust your app, not your cold addled brain, but also trust your instincts.
Editor’s Note: It is strongly advised that should you be ill enough to take strong medications that you should stay home in order to avoid dangerous or awkward situations.

The nomination is split between The Lord of All That Fastens and He Who Schiffles.

What fun was had today was balanced by our loss of a real life hero. Thanks Oodie, we’ll miss your Boodie.

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Masterminds?
Character Points = 84

Bulldog Bulletin
-Justin Kase
-Editor: Felicia Fox

PSA
I feel it is my civic duty to let the student body know that it is very irresponsible to pull the fire alarm when there is no sign of “that which cleanses all.” To do so causes all sorts of problems for local enforcement and also upsets the security systems of the environment around you.

And then the aliens attacked!

The aliens blew some stuff up, and then it was over for awhile. Later in the night, a wierd foot race with sci-fi costumed crime fighters and an invisible trouble make made hot pursuit through downtown Seattle. Thankfully only a few windows were broken in the capture, and the bad guy got caught.

The nomination goes to Dusty, for stubborn, super confident, taciturn, and hyper intelligent twelve-ish-ness.

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Parental Guidance
Character Points = 84

Bulldog Bulletin
-Justin Kase
-Editor: Felicia Fox

College and Career Day-
All the juniors and seniors got together today to talk about where their future is going to take them. Among some of the more notable booths were the CTA Space Camp, a government project in conjunction with NASA, and Paragon, the superhero team running out of Canada, and SPECTRUM, our local heroes.

Open House-
All of the parents of all of the kids all at the same time, crazy. Nothing incredibly interesting happens at events like this, but the adults do a lot of talking about a whole bunch of things that we kids only tangentially care about.

Crash of the Churchites-
The Catholics have landed in the Pea Patch. They brought an explosive plasma reactor and all the fun guns. We are going to be talking about this for awhile to come. The day was saved by a group of (parahumans?) in (space suits?), so (thank you?).
Editor’s Note: (Stop it.)

The nomination goes to Ian tonight. MEATLOAF rules! We shall do the dance of recognition.

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Monday Monday
Character Points = 84

Bulldog Bulletin
-Justin Kase
-Editor: Felicia Fox

Dogma -
“That which one thinks is true.” What do you really know about the worlds beyond our own? To what lengths have we gone to ask our fellow students from beyond our limited atmosphere about the worlds they are used to? You could literally talk about the weather with them and get a conversation so interesting that you may walk away from the conversation completely satisfied. To think that each of them is used to our world or are comfortable in it is ignorant to the differences between us. Please be more aware of the people around you, and that they are not you, and you are not the center of this vast universe.

Dust to Dust -
Our regular Latin teacher is currently out sick and in his place is a modern day vampire. Through his age and distinction he is slowly, but surely draining our souls by force of dry suction. Maybe he will bring some really old tomes that we will undoubtedly “accidentally” summon demons with.
Editor’s Note: The Latin substitute is not really a vampire. Vampires are hopefully fictional.

Blood Drive -
Speaking of vampires: There is a blood drive coming to school. Whether you are human or alien, if you think that there might be a need, you should try to fill it. Donate, donate, donate.

PSA: The Janitor’s closet is for storing things to clean up messes, not a place to make biological ones.

Auditions -
Several people came out to audition, but some of the most notable were a few of our alien classmates. Partially because of the nature of the cultural barrier being crossed so easily by them and partially because of the interesting choices made.
Dillan Steele – Mediocre acting skill with Robin Williams. Acceptable singer with Century by Fallout Boy.
Sean Lex – Great performance of Shatnered ‘Fresh Prince of Bel Aire’ by Will Smith. Acceptable siner with Wild Wild West by Will Smith.
D’Tossu – We aren’t sure what he did, but it was incredibly fascinating. He left before anyone could give him any criticisms on his energetic nature.
Gaunte – Amazing Shakespearean performance. Decent rendition of ‘Master of the House’ from Les Miserables.
Supa – Decent acting chops with Jack from The Beanstalk. ‘Row, Row, Row Your Boat’ is a great voice building song, not so great for an audition.

The Award for the most studenty student goes to… Andrew. Woo for awesomeness!

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Sylvia!
Production by Garfield High School - TO BE UPDATED

Synopsis of Plot:
The place is New York City, the time is the 1990s.

Middle-aged, upper-middle class Greg finds Sylvia, a dog (played by a human), in the park and takes a liking to her. He brings her back to the empty nest he shares with Kate. When Kate gets home, she reacts very negatively to Sylvia and wants her gone. They eventually decide that Sylvia will stay for a few days before they decide whether she can stay longer, but Greg and Sylvia have already bonded. Over the next few days, Greg spends more and more time with Sylvia and less time at his job. Greg and Sylvia go on long walks; they discuss life and astronomy. Already dissatisfied with his job, Greg now has another reason to avoid work.

Tension increases between Greg and Kate, who still does not like Sylvia. Eventually, Greg becomes completely obsessed with Sylvia, and Kate fears their marriage is falling apart. Kate and Sylvia are at odds with each other, each committed to seeing the other defeated. Greg meets a strange character at the dog run, who gives Greg tips on how to manage Sylvia and his predicament involving Kate. Greg has Sylvia spayed. Sylvia is angry and in pain, but she still loves him completely.

Kate’s friend pays a visit and is repulsed by Greg and Sylvia. Greg, Kate and Sylvia sing “Every Time We Say Goodbye”.

Greg and Kate visit a therapist, Leslie, who is ambiguously male and female depending on her patients’ state of mind. After a session with Greg, Leslie tells Kate to get a gun and shoot Sylvia: “I hope you get her right between the eyes.”

Kate is asked to teach abroad, in London, and tells Greg that the English have a six-month quarantine for any dogs coming into the country. Greg is unwilling, but eventually he succumbs and gives the news to Sylvia, that he must give her away, to a family who have a farm in Westchester County. Greg and Sylvia have a heated and tender moment. Kate and Sylvia say goodbye; but, before Greg and Sylvia leave for Westchester, Sylvia returns the annotated and slightly chewed version of “Alls Well That Ends Well” that Kate has been looking for, and Kate has a change of heart.

The last scene is directed toward the audience. Sylvia has died, and Greg and Kate still hold her memory in all fondness.

Dramatis Personae -
Greg: Dillan Steel
Kate:
Sylvia:
Tom:
Phyllis:
Leslie:

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Breaking Buildings
Character Points = 84

Bulldog Bulletin
-Justin Kase
-Editor: Felicia Fox

Warehouses of the Rich and Dangerous-
Odium, a relatively new shipping company in S.O.D.O., has collapsed and has also been harboring more than just slabs of poultry and beef. Apparently the warehouse has been the hiding place of a few Chentoliak with further need to feed. It is unclear the actual identities of these skin devouring, ravenous, and frankly unfriendly aliens, but from what information we have gathered, two of the three creatures were caught in the crumbling building. The government officials that we have been able to contact are providing no comment.

15 Minutes of Fame-
Arthur Fex is growing in popularity on ViewTube with his Homecoming breakdance routine. Whoever dedicated that song to him, thank you for the show.
Sean Lex has also been growing in popularity, but with a smaller following. The Human Swarm did a lot of damage to his opponents, and I am sure that some MMA groups with a powered bent would love to have him on their team.

Mr Schiffler and Sir Buttons both split the nomination for the night and get .5 a Chrisperience. Way to go… hehehe…

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Fight Me or Kiss Me!
Character Points = 83

Bulldog Bulletin
-Justin Kase
-Editor: Felicia Fox

First Rule of Fight Club -
Broken. The rumor mill is ablaze with the news of several students (human, parahuman, and alien) leaving the homecoming dance early in order to participate in underground fighting. The fight happens in SODO, and the clientele is far more than simple hormone crazed youth. This establishment has been around for awhile and they take putting stakes on the relations between Earth and the rest of the galaxy to a whole new level. Some footage of the activity were sent to SPD website and might have caused a bit of a stir.

Kiss All the Girls -
There is romance in the air, and it causes all sorts of strange things to happen. Awkward moments, blood pumping to erogenous areas, feelings of giddiness, small bouts of jealous rage, and the spread of nasty diseases. On that pleasant note, everyone please be safe out there and be certain that we don’t make any mistakes we might regret for the next 18 or so years. With the number of aliens among us, it is possible that some exotic reactions might occur, so please exercise extra caution where needed.

The night goes to Andrew, who won at so much, and lost in great ways. For your efforts, you get a free Uber ride! Just kidding.
Go Oodie McBootie!

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