-Editor: Felicia Fox
R.I.P. Dillan’s first impression. The blue furred, four armed, alien scored a whole four out of twenty from our janitorial staff. Thank you for your determination and sacrifice to the school monument. Thankfully, Dillan himself lives on and will be back on his feet in no time at all.
-Sean Lex and Tol, a couple of our new exchange students, have tried out for the football team. Sean did really well, and there is a lot of hope there. Tol put in maximum effort, and he might make a great runner, but they definitely won’t be putting him on the line. Good luck not needed .
-Have you seen the bodies on these guys, so hydrodynamic. Especially Noah Nash… just wow dude. The sad news, he didn’t make the team. Come on guys, really?
-I think there might have been a speedster out on the field today, but I am not entirely sure, because I didn’t really ever see him. The steadiest competitors that I could track (hah, sport joke), was newcomers Ben Belt and Es’u Oddyx, one from somewhere in the midwest, the other from beyond the atmosphere. The rest of the team is gonna have plenty to work for. Can someone get me the name of the blur?
-This is a cult! They wouldn’t let me in to spy on their secret meeting of “leeeaders of the futur-r-r-r-r-re.” We all know what’s going on here. Ms Agrippa is hiring spies to undermine the progress of just and admirable cheaters everywhere.
Editor’s Note: This line is fiction in the extreme and is not proper for the school news.
Justin: Ah, come on, it’s funny.
Editor’s Note: No.
-The shortest, cutest, and brainiest shall rule all the megaverse! Yes, Arthur Fex, you shall be immortalized in my upcoming comic masterpiece <u>Revenge of the Meatloaf Sentai!!!</u>. Everyone should join this club. It is the greatest group of people you will ever get the chance to know. Also, Mecha is totally in this year, so says the King of the Megaverse. “No one will know the taste of good food ever again!” -Master Meatoafaru
-Personally, I find robotics to be a little bit too much work for an after school things, but there are a few good students that are dedicated to this art form. These guys play loud techno/trance, cruise through welds and machining with authority, and have ideas growing out of their ears. The silent guy in the senior class (Does anyone know his name?), has joined, and from what the team is saying, they are happy to have a programmer on board.
Is this even a U.S. sport? Well, it might not have been a sport before, but then Dillan made it to the field from the detention hall. Somehow I think the Bulldog’s Soccer team is going to get plenty of notice. A line of kickers flew balls in every direction at this kid, and no matter how much spin they put on it, he kept it far away from the goal.
Editor’s Note: Yes, soccer is a well established sport in the United States, but it is undervalued next to the other major sports.
Everything is awesome! Everything is dangerous! Tree pretty, fire bad, Buffy like beer. The end.
Editor’s Note: The school paper does not endorse the consumption or enjoyment of alcohol or other regulated chemicals. Please be safe, be responsible, and talk to your parents if you feel pressured to do anything inappropriate to an academic atmosphere or school regulation.
The School Newspaper-
Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to catch all the Pokemon, add them to your Pokedex, and share the information with the world. Gotta catch’em all. Photo by Sean Lux.
Nothing that happens in school government makes any sense. Not even FOX news could keep track of these kinds of playground political agendas. If you want a ban on a particular style of hair, or a decision on how much you need to weigh in order to wear skinny jeans, this is the place to go. There are a few of the people in this group that are worth noting, and I know who I want to vote for for school president, because I want him as my personal mascot, and that man is Tol.
Fog Machine Fandango @ Sanctuary-
Rumor has is it that a fight and a few strange mishaps started up at Sanctuary last night. Unfortunately, there aren’t many details out, mostly because a cloud of fog like the one produced at the assembly exploded from the dance floor. No one was hurt during the fight, but there is some wounded pride, and the Mean Girls have their claws out for someone new.
Nomination = TheBigKyle