Silver Age Beyond

Moms and Monsters
Character Points = 82

Bulldog Bulletin
-Justin Kase
-Editor: Felicia Fox

Beasts of Burden
There are reports of a strange hippo-like creature that was roaming around in the sewers up until it was found and secured in an equally friendly environment. The big friendly aquatic giant was found by a group of students playing hooky after the strange events at lunch on Tuesday. No one is quite sure where the creature is now, but it’s an herbivore, so at least we know that we don’t have anything to worry about other than, if you should come across one, don’t let it roll over on you, or step on you.
Editors Note: As a notice to students. 1) Please stay on school property while school is in session except when allowed; such as during lunch for seniors. 2) Strange beasts should be reported to the SPD who have special task divisions for such things.

AVA
What happens when aliens have to fight other aliens? The answer is pretty obvious, a fight. In an abundant number of planets out there capable of sustaining some form of life, there are an almost limitless number of predators and prey. The reasons that conflict happen can be anything, but survival is often the most crucial component. When confronted with the end, what would you do if you were face to face with an enemy that you did not want to kill, but had to put down for your own safety? Personally, I would do everything in my power to use nonlethal force, but that is not the same for all.

Revelations
The upcoming dance has New Beginnings on everyone’s mind, so be sure to pay attention to the new beginnings around you. Discover the strange things waiting around the corner. Don’t be afraid to take a dive and look beyond your comfort zone. And when you come across things that you can’t or don’t want to understand, remember that ignorance is a choice that can be overcome, and in many cases, if you take the effort, you will get the opportunity to do so.

The Nomination for the night goes to Sir Buttons of Buttonia.

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Future Cloudy, Ask Again Later
Character Points = 82

Bulldog Bulletin
-Justin Kase
-Editor: Felicia Fox

Inevitabitiy -
Innis, Emlyn, Samara, the names of our mistresses in darkness. We live to serve them and revel in the glory of their power. Shall their will be done and their words bind the heavens and hells togther in their beauty… Seriously? No, screw this! I’m going to go do my homework and attempt to get into a school that isn’t plagued by supernatural thrillers and psycho killers. Thankfully after being soaked and punched a few times, the majority of the mean girls and jocks made it out of the grand melee just a bit dehydrated.

  • In Related Parahuman News -
    Up until recently Garfield High at large was fairly certain that Josephina Johnson was just a regular girl. Turns out that she is a lot more than meets the eye. When the trio of terrible girls started using crazy mind magic on the student body, Jo sprouted claws, fangs, and magma. Pretty sure that that isn’t at all normal. You go girl, but please stop beating up the football team.

Circle of Friends -
A suspicious group of students missed the second half of classes today. Not sure what they are all up to, but it’s probably not safe. So far where they are there is something going on that most of us don’t want anything to do with. Perseverance and prudence be with them as they attempt to do whatever they are doing.

Nominations are awesome and this week’s goes to Kyle. A side gift of b-day offerings to Justin as well.

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Quizday - Social Dynamics
Character Points = 82

Bulldog Bulletin
-Justin Kase
-Editor: Felicia Fox

Time Lapse -
After someone noticed that there was a strange temporal phenomenon happening on campus, the office finally decided that the school schedule needed to be rewritten. On the website, and in the main office’s pamphlets, you should now be able to find the corrected schedules. Sorry folks, no late morning extra-temporal nap time. Thankfully, at least for the teachers, there are less excuses to be late to third period.

Drama Llama -
The Principle got to do some amazing things today, amazing things in the land of high school philosophical justice. Now, none of us are quite sure what transpired inside the principle’s office, but the outcome is on the lips of every student ever. Both Ashley Ahlquist and Christine Crittendon have stepped out of the race for Homecoming Queen and walked out of the Principle’s office with blank soulless looks in their eyes. How the mighty fall when they aspire to the heavens while making deals with hell. In their place, three new girls, sisters of classmate Zoe Zielke.

Bitches in the Outfield -
During lunch today the mean girls, plus a few, had an impromptu rally on the sports field. Not sure what they are up to, but the girls started acting pretty strange. The jocks, interested in protecting the girls from “witches,” went down to the field to take care of business. Unfortunately, this edition doesn’t cover that part of the day.
Editor’s Note: What?

The nomination today goes to EVERYONE! Yeah, you get a nom, and you get a nom, and you get a nom, everyone gets a nom!

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Witch Way
Character Points = 81

Bulldog Bulletin
-Justin Kase
-Editor: Felicia Fox

Rule of Thumb
Every now and then you find yourself in the middle of a grand adventure, or at lease pseudo-grand, and it can be amazing when it does. There are a few things you should know before these instances.

  1. Pack Light – Too much stuff makes it quite difficult to get around in a sticky situation.
  2. Carry a Towel – You have no idea how many situations that this is a good tool for.
  3. Expect Everything and Be Prepared – Zombies can happen! Believe in ghosts! Faeries are fucking real! Aliens will abduct you and probe your ass without lube! And a witch just might curse you.
    Editor’s Note: Please edit for expletives.

Study Harder
With a study group. A potentially fun and intellectually stimulating way to keep up on school work. The bond formed in a study group can be strong and lasting when there are mutual exchanges of information and ideas. Also, in the aforementioned zombie attack, it is safer to be in numbers. Especially if you are faster than them. Just kidding, don’t be mean to your friends or you study groups, if you aren’t friends, because there is still a friendship that could be had.

The Plot Thickens
Speaking of witches. The mean girls are on a rampage for who wrote the blog article about the lunch room deal over Homecoming Queen. Nails are out and the rumor mill is pumping out all the juice.

This week’s nomination goes to Zach this week. Go Furball!

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Haunted House - Early Edition
Character Points = 81

Bulldog Bulletin
-Justin Kase
-Editor: Felicia Fox

Enter Night
Fog rolls through the forest and blankets everything in veils woven from the cloth of the underworld. Shadows dance under dim moonlight, boneless forms swaying back and forth gracefully to music that is unheard by mortal ears. The miasma pushes its way from the dense woods and washes over the track field. On the other side of the forest, a cult gathered in secret, summoning forth the daedra to splinter the heavens for the gratification of petty pubescent politics. A storm heralded the aligning of forces they could not have gathered on their own.

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Ghosts and Girls... Goblins
Character Points = 81

Bulldog Bulletin
-Justin Kase
-Editor: Felicia Fox

Nocturnal Transmissions
Have you ever had one of those dreams that was so real that you doubted existence as you thought it to be? Sometimes dreams can take us to a place that we can not achieve resolution, and there is a place no one wants to be, alien or Terran. Falling from a great height without the ability to fly, running down an endless hallway with locked doors, and escaping the enemy that exists only in your own shadow. Terror in its truest form.
As a suggestion, if you are having a terrible bout of scary thought, treat it like a cold. Clear your sinuses, take a warm bath, inundate your senses with eucalyptus and mint, and down a dose of cold medicine. Sleep deeply and allow yourself enough time to sleep in.

Pop Art
On the topic of sleep, don’t do it through your classes, especially Art History. Strangely enough, there are actually cool things to learn about on the topic of beauty throughout the ages. Fairly soon the class will be heading off to the museum in order to get closer to the subjects of higher learning and Terrestrial artisans. I’m sure it will be all sorts of fun!

Janitorial Note
“Whoever keeps leaving puddles everywhere in the school, could you please be more respectful of your school’s cleaning staff? We have a great number mysteries of our own to ponder. Like how they get the peanut butter into the Peanut Butter N&N’s.” -The Jedi Janitor

Did I even?
“No, I didn’t,” I said to myself after I left Home room today. I thought about all the classes that I have this quarter, and then I thought about how many of them I requested, and then I realized that one of the six classes I have this year was actually something I signed up for. Also, have you noticed the strange groupings this quarter? Students that have been clumped together and have all the same schedules? Super weird.

Fashion Flight
Ben Belt and Mora, our winged wonder woman, were reportedly seen trying on all the latest fashion at the mall after school. The rumor mill is now abuzz with the depth of the mysterious country boy’s wallet and his generosity with it. Both of the students came out of the establishment looking quite pleased with themselves and each with their own bag in hand. They should be quite the sight at the dance.

After School Autopsy
Spooky sounds, bloody foot prints, missing lab equipment, and skinless ghosts? The investigations in to the odd happenings on school grounds seems to be continuing even though the police have closed down the majority of it. Leads suggest that Arthur Fex is leading this merry band of investigators.

Nomination goes to Schiffler for spoopy ghoost stoory.

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Throw an Election, Gain Super Stardom
Homecoming Queen Frontrunners make a back-room deal

[pictures attached]

At today’s lunch the two most popular girls in school coluuded to rig the election in exchange for a favorable role in this year’s school play, the lead to be exact. “As sisters” Andira told Christine, “We don’t want to have this competition to come between us. I can guarantee that you’ll get the lead in the play if you drop out of the race for homecoming queen.” To this Christine agreed.

This reporter wonders what other deals are being made for Homecoming/ Whose hands are being greased and who is just downright greasy? You have the choice to break the cycle. The choice is up to you.

-Anon E. Mouse

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Friday Freelance
Character Points = 81

Bulldog Bulletin
-Justin Kase
-Editor: Felicia Fox

Candlelight Vigil-
Friday night, the students of Garfield High, parents, teachers, and others showed up in order to pay respects to two lost classmates. Aleisha Amaro and Leslie Libby both fell prey to another student’s murderous intent. The sports field filled with tiny LED lights, a sea of support for the lost’s loved ones. Leslie’s friends were many and so were the words for her, but Aleisha’s words were powerful, the weight of her absence stronger in some ways than in life. Both parents were respectful and receptive to the offerings of those gathered, but gave a little bit of a cold shoulder to the alien students.

Strange Sightings-
The woods Friday night seemed active with odd activity. Small dancing shadows in the bushes, perhaps creatures dancing in ritual mourning, and only noticed by the very perceptive. No pictures could be provided for this little affair, but we can all take comfort that the small band was not leading people off into strange faerie dimensions.

Relationship Rumor Mill-

  • New prep kid, Ben Belt, and skater prep, Gavin Gagner, were seen leaving Sanctuary together. We all know that Gavin is a high horn dog, but no one really knows too much about Ben. Item or not? We shall see.
    • Update: Confirmed.
  • Hedy Horman and Noah Nash got tight and deep into verbal intercourse. Tension, passion, and that look of teenage confusion, all the best ingredients of a high school drama. Sparks that could lead to a fireworks display or an imminent explosion?
  • Jock loser, Beau Biggerstaff, and friendly insectoid alien, XytXyl. Budding friendship, or courting dance for egg laying ritual?
  • Tel Glenmoira left with Beau Biggerstaff after XytXyl left the scene. Tol is one of the friendliest new kids, and his glamour has got a refreshing style. Please, oh please, Beau, don’t start ripping off wings to get your way.
    Editor’s Note: There is some bigotry in this article that needs to be addressed before publication.

The Monday Blues-

Home Room Announcement-
The Homecoming Dance and Game is coming up in two weeks time. Voting for Homecoming King and Queen will be next week, so put some thought into it. Put in your ballots for who you think would look best with a crown and scepter on the dance floor together. There are a lot of dates confirmed, but by far the most impressive is the acceptance by Mora Maximovitch and W’Diani: You go girls!

Nomination goes to Elisa for DWAGON!

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Stranger Danger
Character Points = 80

Bulldog Bulletin
-Justin Kase
-Editor: Felicia Fox

The Bad News -
Aleisha Amaro, deceased, was found on campus by Mrs. Abernathy this morning. Scenester and bang bearing member of the Emo crowd, she was not really well known, but she will definitely be missed. The event, whatever it turns out to have been, has caused the security around school to go up. As much as we appreciate the men-in-blue protecting our best interest, there is plenty of eye rolling and whispered conspiracy murmurs running wild. May you rest in piece Aliesha, and let’s hope this isn’t going to be a trend throughout the year. Especially with the rumor that parahumans or aliens were likely involved.

Coincidence or Connection? -
Student Sean Fox, while on a routine bathroom break from home room, found yet another body hiding above the ceiling tiles of one of the stalls. Little is known yet about the identity of the second victim, but it is sure to have the same markers as the first. Of course, it’s possible that the second murder is unrelated to the first, but it’s unlikely. It is suspicious however that Sean was nearby during the times of both murders. Is his presence a cruel coincidence or something more sinister.
Editor’s Note: We do not name suspects in news articles. Save it for tabloids and murder mysteries.
:Writer’s Note: We all know it was Mr. Abernathy anyway.

CRITICAL UPDATE!
The victims were skinned. Beware pod people.
Editor’s Note: This is not a tabloid!

Domestic Violence -
Tension is definitely high around school, but when Beau Biggerstaff was accused of carrying drugs in Mrs. Forrester-Guthrie’s home room class this morning, the tension turned into a brawl. Hormones, insanity, good intentions, unattended feelings of injustice, and all sorts of other motivations can cause this kind of outburst, but whatever the cause, wow guys, just wow. In the end, Beau was restrained by Mora Maximovich before collapsing into a seizure brought on by an overdose.

Foreign Relations -
The senior morning Latin class was taken over by Mr. O’Connor this morning when Mr. Abernathy was called into the Principle’s office. Two students engaged in a posturing contest of epic proportions, but thankfully this confrontation did not end in a fight. The class then went on an unscheduled field trip down the hall to the robotics classroom. Most went on a wild goose chase and found nothing, but a small group found the killer and utterly destroyed it. Well, at least, they downed it and bound it.

WOOOO!!! School is out early everybody.

Nomination goes to Andrew, the mighty Oody McBooty.

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After School Special
Character Points = 80

Bulldog Bulletin
-Justin Kase
-Editor: Felicia Fox

R.I.P. Dillan’s first impression. The blue furred, four armed, alien scored a whole four out of twenty from our janitorial staff. Thank you for your determination and sacrifice to the school monument. Thankfully, Dillan himself lives on and will be back on his feet in no time at all.

Football Highlights-
-Sean Lex and Tol, a couple of our new exchange students, have tried out for the football team. Sean did really well, and there is a lot of hope there. Tol put in maximum effort, and he might make a great runner, but they definitely won’t be putting him on the line. Good luck not needed .

Swim Team-
-Have you seen the bodies on these guys, so hydrodynamic. Especially Noah Nash… just wow dude. The sad news, he didn’t make the team. Come on guys, really?

Cross Country-
-I think there might have been a speedster out on the field today, but I am not entirely sure, because I didn’t really ever see him. The steadiest competitors that I could track (hah, sport joke), was newcomers Ben Belt and Es’u Oddyx, one from somewhere in the midwest, the other from beyond the atmosphere. The rest of the team is gonna have plenty to work for. Can someone get me the name of the blur?

JROTC-
-This is a cult! They wouldn’t let me in to spy on their secret meeting of “leeeaders of the futur-r-r-r-r-re.” We all know what’s going on here. Ms Agrippa is hiring spies to undermine the progress of just and admirable cheaters everywhere.
Editor’s Note: This line is fiction in the extreme and is not proper for the school news.
Justin: Ah, come on, it’s funny.
Editor’s Note: No.

Anime Club-
-The shortest, cutest, and brainiest shall rule all the megaverse! Yes, Arthur Fex, you shall be immortalized in my upcoming comic masterpiece <u>Revenge of the Meatloaf Sentai!!!</u>. Everyone should join this club. It is the greatest group of people you will ever get the chance to know. Also, Mecha is totally in this year, so says the King of the Megaverse. “No one will know the taste of good food ever again!” -Master Meatoafaru

Robotics Club-
-Personally, I find robotics to be a little bit too much work for an after school things, but there are a few good students that are dedicated to this art form. These guys play loud techno/trance, cruise through welds and machining with authority, and have ideas growing out of their ears. The silent guy in the senior class (Does anyone know his name?), has joined, and from what the team is saying, they are happy to have a programmer on board.

Soccer-
Is this even a U.S. sport? Well, it might not have been a sport before, but then Dillan made it to the field from the detention hall. Somehow I think the Bulldog’s Soccer team is going to get plenty of notice. A line of kickers flew balls in every direction at this kid, and no matter how much spin they put on it, he kept it far away from the goal.
Editor’s Note: Yes, soccer is a well established sport in the United States, but it is undervalued next to the other major sports.

Blacksmithing-
Everything is awesome! Everything is dangerous! Tree pretty, fire bad, Buffy like beer. The end.
Editor’s Note: The school paper does not endorse the consumption or enjoyment of alcohol or other regulated chemicals. Please be safe, be responsible, and talk to your parents if you feel pressured to do anything inappropriate to an academic atmosphere or school regulation.

The School Newspaper-
Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to catch all the Pokemon, add them to your Pokedex, and share the information with the world. Gotta catch’em all. Photo by Sean Lux.

School Government-
Nothing that happens in school government makes any sense. Not even FOX news could keep track of these kinds of playground political agendas. If you want a ban on a particular style of hair, or a decision on how much you need to weigh in order to wear skinny jeans, this is the place to go. There are a few of the people in this group that are worth noting, and I know who I want to vote for for school president, because I want him as my personal mascot, and that man is Tol.

Fog Machine Fandango @ Sanctuary-
Rumor has is it that a fight and a few strange mishaps started up at Sanctuary last night. Unfortunately, there aren’t many details out, mostly because a cloud of fog like the one produced at the assembly exploded from the dance floor. No one was hurt during the fight, but there is some wounded pride, and the Mean Girls have their claws out for someone new.

Nomination = TheBigKyle

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